It's all in the b[l]og

So the world chess championship has been suspended after a row over bog [oops lavatory] breaks. Kramnik led Topalov 3-1 when on Friday Topalov protested that his opponent had abused the rules allowing visits to the private rest room during play.

He claims that Topalov used the lav 50 times during one game. The lav is the one place not covered by CCTV and therefore the inference is he was testing his moves on a computer secretly placed there.

Of course this kind of allegation is not new. it is one of the final throws of the defeated.

We all remember Ricky Ponting captain of the ex-cons throwing a wobbly during the last Ashes series about the England fast bowlers abusing so called toilet breaks. It is a certain thing though that Harmison and co were not honing their reverse swing skills on the computer. It all came to a head at Trent Bridge Nottingham when Ponting was run out by Gary Pratt a fielder substituting for one of the bowlers who was taking a break giving rise to that glorious score book entry

"Ponting run out (Pratt)...........48"

The chess championship is taking place in the Russian republic of Kalmykia. Topalov is a Bulgarian and I recommend he proposes that for the remainder of the competition lavatory facilities are imported from Bulgaria.

My friend Irene Liddy tells of a visit to Bulgaria and a lavatory full of bees. When asked what she should do about it she was told to keep the door open. Just what these chess grandmasters need.