Spoon Fed

Two doughty Lancastrians decided to make their way to Colwyn Bay to watch the Red Rose play cricket the other day and were prevented from entering the ground because they had metal spoons for eating their strawberries and cream. Stewards even took exception to their jars of coffee and tea. Plastic spoons only allowed.

I suppose one has to make allowances for the land of the Druids but those stewards should be grateful they did not encounter Teapot and try to deprive her of a flask of Yorkshire's best.

We went to Trent Bridge a fortnight ago and decided to be well prepared for the health and safety police. We carried out a pre match risk assessment leaving copies back at the Tardis with Wesley and Tiger in case of emergency. We had sun block in case it was hot and cloudless, umbrellas in case of rain and overshoes in case of snow. We both took gloves just in case it was cold and on the off chance that Eoin Morgan planted a switch hit 6 in our direction. We decided to take visors for our eyes: for protection against being blinded by the sun's reflection off KP's bling.

Odd though really since no one seemed to mind when Stuart Broad planted a bumper on the hapless Pakistani opener's helmet at a tad short of 90 mph. Or the seemingly endless procession of bear trays juggled precariously between rows of spectators lurching from side to side. Threatening at any minute to spill over and cause a drenching with the probability of a non too civil word or two as a result.

Curious that at Edgbaston the following week an advertising board suddenly decided to attack a steward all on its own holding up play for several minutes.

May be I have missed something. Home Office statistics on the number of woundings using metal spoons perhaps.

Be assured though spoons of all kinds are welcome in the Tardis and especially teaspoons when stirring the morning brew.