A Screwtape Letter

My dear Slubgob

My most devilish congratulations to you. There is something about publishing good news whilst those pygmies Cameron Brown and Clegg play their little games.

So a triple alpha to you for the masterstroke of persuading the Home Office to recognise the Police Pagan Association in the interests of equality and diversity. What chance have those pathetic humans of understanding truth with a genius like you around.

But I do counsel caution.

There is just a chance that even they will spot the flaw if you continue to press the case for wearing long cloaks and pointed hats whilst on traffic duty. And I reckon that suggesting eye of newt and toe of frog on the mess room menu may be a challenge too far.

Far better to see if Jamie Oliver can put it on the school meal rota first or else before you know where we are the Bill will be back on ITV.

Your mentor his eminence

The emeritus professor of all things diabolical

Screwtape