Old friends?

According to Ron Crisp writing in this week's Rossendale Free Press there is a network of compost advisers in Lancashire waiting to advise those blessed to live in the Red Rose county on the benefits of composting. The Lancashire Home Composting project offers support by providing large black Dalek style bins free of charge delivered to your home.

I have a deep inner foreboding. Does Mr Crisp [or is his real name Cheesy Whatsit] really understand the forces he is about to unleash? Soon he and his volunteer friends may have more to advise on than the best mixture of tea bags, grass clippings and potato peelings for a good top dressing.

Time rushes on [or goes backwards more slowly] but before there was Teapot (BT) I found myself again on planet Scaro in a struggle with the Dalek race leading to their final submission and defeat....or so I thought

Before I could say sonic screw driver the planet was the hunting ground of recycler traders from the alpha minus constellation who persuaded the galactic empire there was money to be made in recycling the defeated foe [after suitable treatment of course] to a gullible planet called earth......but some traders thought they would cut corners and make an even bigger buck.

Yes and you have guessed it here are three of them. At the top of our garden!

Knowing a thing or two about Daleks myself I can say that these three are completely recycled. No life in this lot [at least not of the Dalek kind]......but can you be sure about any which may be in your garden. Did you buy them from a reliable source? Do they have the galactic stamp of authentic recycled Dalek on them.....a kind of hallmark on the inside rim in the shape of a drain plunger with a cross through it?

If not, you need help and I am not sure trading standards are up to it. You see no one knows what happens when you cut corners with a Dalek....except it is usually exterminating; nor when....it could be the next solar eclipse or the one after that or that...

So look out for the stamp on the inside rim, and if it is not there do not ring Mr Crisp or Cheesy Whatsit......ring the Ministry of Defence and ask for Dalek Busters, and hope they are not too late.