Ode to Essen

The other Saturday Mrs FLN invited Teapot and myself to join her for lunch at Essen.

This was my first visit and it was rather special to follow in the footsteps of FLN who apparently spent many a Saturday morning over a late breakfast and his newspaper at this eatery.

Teapot is away with her father in Lancashire just now but with Essen in mind I could not resist adding a poem to the many shared in recent weeks by fellow bloggers.

"I sat at a cafe and sipped at a coke
There sat down beside me a WHOPPING great bloke
Who sighed as he elbowed me into the wall:
"Your trouble, my boy, is your belly's too small!
Your bottom's too thin! Take a lesson from me:
I may not be nice but I'm GREAT, you'll agree,
And I've lasted a lifetime by playing this hunch:
The bigger the breakfast, the larger the lunch!

The larger the lunch, then the huger the supper,
The deeper the teapot, the vaster the cupper.
The fatter the sausage, the fuller the tea
The MORE on the table, the BETTER for me!"

His elbows moved in and his elbows moved out,
His belly grew bigger, chins wobbled about,
As forkful by forkful and plate after plate,
He ate and he ate and he ate and he ATE!

I could hardly breathe, I was squashed out of shape,
So under the table I made my escape.
"Aha!" he rejoiced, "when its put to the test,
The fellow who's fattest will come off the best!
Remember, my boy , when it comes to the crunch:
The bigger the breakfast, the larger the lunch!

The larger the lunch, then the huger the supper.
The deeper the teapot, the vaster the cupper.
The fatter the sausage, the fuller the tea.
The MORE on the table, the BETTER for ME!"

A lady came by who was scrubbing the floor
With a mop and a bucket. To even the score,
I lifted the bucket of water and said,
As I poured the whole lot of it over his head:

!I've found all my life, it's a pretty sure bet:
The FULLER the bucket, the WETTER you GET!"