Muffin Futures

Financial markets are in turmoil. The dollar falls and the pound is plumetting. Investors are looking for quality and Timelord's muffin factory is on overtime.

The telephones are buzzing and muffin futures are at an all time high. Demand is outstripping supply as Curly Al and Jen's wedding approaches.

Some blame the panic on short sellers but Timelord knows the real villains are the gobblers. Those who divert muffins from the cooling tray before they can be transported to the freezer for their own ends. Speculators on the alert for a quick bite.

Firm measures must be taken. Marmite muffins are being considered as a last resort.

To make sure of your muffin on the big day a week on Saturday pre order through facebook or other channels with a choice of flavours: mincemeat, chocolate, marmalade, ginger, lemon and coffee. Trading under the counter or behind the church sound desk strictly prohibited.

Hurry whilst stocks last.