Just Thieving or what?

I hear that the constabulary have arrested a man for allegedly stealing lead from the roof of the official residemce of the Archbishop of York. They continue to search for a second man.

Sources close to the boys in blue say that they have so far interviewed three suspects.

First an African gentleman who claimed diplomatic immunity as an emissary from the Government of Zimbabwe. Our noble spooks at MI5 think he was on a secret mission to fashion a new clerical collar for the Archbishop from lead and to ensure it fitted as tightly as possible round his neck.

Second a man with academic appearance and long whispy hair. When lead was found in his car he said it was only symbolic like the stable and the manger. He did not know how it came to be there anyway.

The third man confessed to taking the lead but said the Archbishop was asking for it. If he wanted to baptise people by immersion he should first take some of his own medicine by being immersed in a deluge of rainwater through his roof.

The last two have been released on police bail pending further enquiries.

Watch this space...and your church roof!