Terminal 5

I usually begin the day with my breakfast, sitting in our back room looking out over the garden.

One morning this week I rubbed my eyes and rubbed them again in a kind of disbelief as I saw what looked like a triple decker bird table which seemed to have sprouted from nowhere in the garden overnight.

How can this be I wondered. When was the public inquiry? Who granted planning permission? Has the Queen called to open it in my absence?

Later that day in her casual matter of a fact kind of way practised by all the female of our species Teapot happened to mention it. It needs moving she said, implying of course that we now have another terminal chez Tardis where the birds of the neighbourhood and far afield can land, feed, shower and bathe to their hearts content.

I accept that from time to time one or another runway may be out of action. Like in the picture when it doubles up as a siesta spot for Tiger the cat. But we must be close to saturation and bird traffic control be at breaking point. At least Tiger can be relied on to do his duty in that regard.

This morning I noticed an enormous jumbo pigeon had landed on the new terminal and seemed to be in for a feeding binge on the bird seed designed to make sure he never took off again. Teapot soon put that right with another deft adjustment to its layout. Jumbo pigeons are not welcome here. She then waved at me to join her in the garden to look at some mallard ducks which had landed on next door's roof.

Now I wonder what a duck table would look like?