Gaza: A memo to George Mitchell

A client of mine said to me this week. "If you can fix this issue of mine it's next stop Gaza". Makes you pause before fixing it doesn't it?

Of course you helped "fix" Northern Ireland in your way and now the new President has asked you to take on the big one: Israel, Palestine and all the rest. A great reward you might say.

Yet if any of us could play a part of "fixing" the big one wouldn't we grasp the chance with both hands if for no other reason than the horror of the last few weeks in Gaza will surely not be the last without a "fixing". And we cannot wash our hands and stand by. And in your case there are all those people who think the United States and the President can make all the difference: most likely by leaning on Israel whatever that means.

So let me indulge myself in some thoughts. The kind that would be big for me if I had to fill your shoes:

• Gerry Adams Martin McGuiness and Ian Paisley are all pure pussy cats when compared with the guys you will meet in the Middle East.
• Hatred and enmity have meanings here that are acted out with a ruthlessness found nowhere else on the planet
• All states eventually end up talking to the terrorists who attack them and yesterday's terrorist is tomorrow's prime minister
• Hamas will have to accept Israel's right to exist and otherwise has no political future
• Israel has to give up land on the West Bank and remove settlements there
• President Abbas must make gains from the Israelis to show that giving up violence does produce results
• However much we focus on the sufferings of the people in Gaza we will never forget the Holocaust
• Israel will eventually have to give up sole control of Jerusalem
• Day 1 sack Tony Blair
• Beware the Europeans and especially the French. All talk and no do.
• Leaders will always fear being told they were the one to sell out

And I will pray for you. Pray in hope and almost beyond hope.

How about a labradoodle?

Malia and Sasha Obama will soon know who will be the White House puppy thus fulfilling one of Barack Obama's most important campaign promises.

Will it be a labradoodle or a portuguese water hound? A labradoodle sounds a little too French like for my taste. A water hound though has the big advantage of not shedding its hair and so is less likely to cause allergy problems.

You may remember that Bill and Hilary Clinton had Socks the cat who became a national celebrity with his own fan club. Trouble was Socks didn't get on too well with the Clinton's labrador Buddy and ended up with his faithful secretary Betty when Bill left the White House.

I do not have the latest odds from BetFred on the dogfight but my hunch is that the water hound will win the day.

This all goes to show that teaming up with the right animals is a task not to be understimated [or misunderestimated to quote our current leader of the free world]. Making the right choice is as difficult as getting on the right train to return to Birmingham from some remote outpost of England like Reading or finding my way two blocks in London to my next appointment.

So as I write this blog I am grateful for the time we first saw Tiger the cat at the Cat's Protection League and I knew he was the one. And since then Rusty the reindeer and Wesley the sheep have arrived to join him with personalities all of their own.

It is certain the Tardis would seem empty without them